How often during the day do you show the real you? Work, managing kids, daily interactions can force us to display this unnatural, forced (slightly manic) smile that we believe is successfully covering who we really are and how we really feel.
It may work for some; postman, coffee shop, maybe even school run mums, but as the saying goes - “The eyes are the gateway to the soul” anyone that truly knows us (and is looking) should be able to clearly see the difference.
I remember when I was getting married, my ex husband’s one request regarding wedding make-up was that I still look like Me. He didn’t want to turn around and be presented with a face he didn’t recognise. I get that now more than ever. Don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of make-up! I can often be found on YouTube watching some tutorial on contouring to keep up with the young ones and their trends lol! However, I’ve never wanted make-up to mask me. With so many new procedures and trends it’s hard not to get carried away but I’m not trying to shock anyone when it all comes off at night!
I wore a different type of mask for many years and it was firmly fixed… I’m naturally quite a smiley person, I actually really enjoy smiling! But this smile was not coming from within - I would literally “grin and bear it”. Bear the sadness, bear the loneliness, bear the shame and only those that were looking knew that my eyes were dead. It was a carefully crafted mask, purely for show purposes and aimed at not letting anyone see the real me.
The trouble with masks are, you don’t know who or what is going on behind it. How many of us have been on the brink, teetering on the edge but instead of asking for help we still showed up, mask in tact and no-one any the wiser. It’s not healthy sis, you are not Superwoman and no one expects you to be. I used to have a “role model” who showed no flaws, no weakness, no struggle and zero empathy for anyone that did. It was exhausting trying to emulate her as we were encouraged to do and for that reason the “mask” became a permanent fixture as it was the only way I could cope.
These days I feel no way to show my emotions in a controlled but open way. In fact I regularly tell my kids I’ve resigned from motherhood! It could be any situation I’m facing; in the bank, school, supermarket, anywhere… if Im upset, overwhelmed, frustrated - you will hear about it. I’ve found that it can often break down the barriers of protocol and speak to the human being of a situation which brings about a more caring and thoughtful result. It doesn’t make you weak and it doesn’t make you less than, it’s just your honest feelings in that moment and I think as human beings, we appreciate the acknowledgement.
So rip it off! Let it out! The world wants to see the real You. Try it among your people first, let them see your flaws and struggles, I promise they will love you through and be gassed that you chose to trust them enough. Once you’ve built your confidence it’s time to present the real you to the world - You got this!
Sherine x
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