I actually couldn’t find anything labelled "Mum-Fog" after extensive googling, only articles on “Mom Brain” below are a couple of examples -
(Healthline)
If you're looking to reduce the effects of mom brain, try the following.
1. Eat well and take your vitamins. ...
2. Get your body going. ...
3. Take a cat nap. ...
(Choosing Therapy)
What causes Mom Brain? Overall, mommy brain appears to be related to a combination of actual changes to the brain, sleep loss, increase in responsibilities, and personal beliefs and expectations about motherhood.
So according to these articles it is a period of time that you experience these discombobulated feelings immediately after having a new baby - makes sense right?
But what do you call it when the “Mum-brain” just becomes Your brain? Your babies are now big kids (that you hide behind). The colours of your once vibrant personality have dulled, you’ve lost your sense of style and your sex appeal has long left the building….
I believe this is (and other symptoms) can be found when you are deep in the trenches of the ‘Mum-Fog” and have probably resided there for some time! Everyone else’s needs are put before your own and it shows; visually, spiritually and mentally. I’d go so far as to say it is a state of depression - the true you is in a depressed (reduced, lowered, devitalised) state. There is a big part of you that thinks this is normal, this is just me now. “Life can’t always be happy, exciting, joyful, fun, passionate… I’m a mum now, I had my time, I have too many responsibilities, I’m too exhausted to find Me again”.
But if you never (or rarely) feel any of these emotions are you living? Girl, you deserve to live!
(July 2020 deep in Mum-Fog hiding behind my daughter)
It took me TEN YEARS to come out of the Mum-Fog! And if I’m honest, had it not been for the revelation that my husband of 13yrs had been seeing someone else, I would still be there… It took that bomb going off in my life to completely shatter the carefully constructed illusion and force me to wake the hell up! I don’t want or believe that women should have to go through that (or any) kind of trauma before coming back to themselves.
I think if we can openly talk, support and encourage each other in a REAL, open and honest way like grown women should, we’d recognise how truly dope we are and feel more confident to express our true selves more regularly.
(August 2021 Fully emerged & living again!)
Your kids, your partner, your friends, your family don’t need some robotic semi-perfect, fake version of you - they just need YOU! And more importantly, you need you! Anything that doesn’t have life dies right? Sis, this is your call to breathe life into all the things you love, little things that make you happy, Stuff that make you You. Tips and recommendations are on the way!
As Jay-Z said “Allow me to reintroduce myself…”
You Still Got It.
Sherine x
(If any of this post resonates and you feel a little stuck, please reach out. Lets connect, I would love to chat and offer any support I can - you are not alone 😊)
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